I’ve reached that place in life where I spend my time doing as I wish. In my case, it is a fairly solitary life. I often head into the forest with camera in hand and dog at my side to commune with nature and perhaps find an interesting subject or scene to photograph. On days where inclement weather dictates I stay indoors and I read or work in my studio.
Life is good.
Of course with so much leisure time on my hands my mind is free to travel, to wander the hallways of my memory or to explore new ideas, however abstract they may be. I find myself reflecting upon people I know or have known. And I worry about those who are friends that have challenges in their lives. I suppose that in my relatively stress free life, this is a large source of stress for me. You see, I value friendships very highly. I’ve been in those places where the support and actions of friends made all the difference.
Now, I understand that circumstances and sometimes life in general puts the regular interaction of friends on hiatus. Believe me, I do understand. Sometimes it’s being involved to capacity with things going on in life. Sometimes it is embarrassment that curtails communication among friends. Again, I understand this. I’ve been there and done that. It’s entirely too easy. I know, I know.
Perhaps I’m a bit too “high-maintenance”. I find that when so-called friends cease to communicate, my initial reaction is concern. Concern for them or concern for what I may have done to offend them. Usually this apparent break-down in communication is solidified after I’ve tried to call or otherwise contact them with no response. Like I said, maybe I’m high-maintenance.
My rationale is this: in this day and age it is simple to communicate in a detached, if not entirely one way fashion. While a phone call is nice, a quick and simple text message will certainly confirm existence. For more complex situations, and email is adequate.
So here is my point. If you are a friend and you go for an extended period of time without any communication, especially if the last couple communications were from me without response, I remove you from my friend list. This relieves me from worrying about you. This puts our relationship into perspective. I no longer wonder what went wrong and I don’t waste any emotion on you.
I prefer to focus on friends. So if you are one of these “used to be” friends and you decide to contact me some day and I don’t reply, I’ve simply closed the book on our friendship. No big deal!